In the translation of the story of my life, I’m the hero. I kill the monster and marry the beautiful princess. The people love me. When I walk down the streets it’s like treading through a fragrant swamp of rose petals, and the cheering is deafening. But here at home old ladies push me off the bus and my neighbor’s lawn clippings carpet my sidewalk. After I take the garbage out and bury the dog, I’m moving to a country where no one takes me literally.

Bob Lucky